JOSEPH AND THE AMAZING PSYCHADELIC PARACHUTE

Life is full of choices. The smaller ones, like what to wear, how fast to drive to work, or what to eat for lunch, do not affect us significantly (unless of course, you choose not to wear clothes, get pulled over for speeding, arrested for not wearing clothes, and then get salmonella from the peanut-butter they feed you in prison). Others, like what career to pursue, whom to marry, and what to do in our relationships with others, are more lasting. Choices, it seems, often determine our destiny (and our brand of peanut butter). Such a story of choices, consequences, and redemption comes from one of the oldest surviving pieces of literature (no, not the original National Enquirer). This “story” is one from the Bible. The Old Testament, to be exact, unless of course you’re Jewish, then it’s from the Torah and Books of Moses. Or if you’re Muslim, well, then your story detoured back with Abraham anyway. It is a story of a young man named Joseph, a dreamer who made choices, had other choices forced upon him, and ultimately saved his family, his nation, and God’s chosen people (not bad for an old book that doesn’t have any pictures, eh?). It is also the story told in Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat as performed by the SCERA Youth Theater at the SCERA in Orem (The SCERA Youth Theater being the only group with more children than one of the story’s main characters, Jacob).

The tale of Joseph begins in the land of Canaan. Canaan, in this case, being somewhere near Agrabah (Joseph was distant cousins to Aladdin). Our story is told, or retold, as the case may be, by two spunky, peppy, and amazingly talented singers (think Ariel in Footloose, after all, she knew her Bible). In the land of Canaan are so many children that it could be mistaken for Utah County. One reason for all of these children is Canaan’s most famous resident – Grizzly Adams. Oh sorry, wrong story. I meant Jacob. Jacob lived in Canaan, and Jacob had lots of children… and lots of wives (no Utah jokes, honest, it’s too easy). Being a parent, Jacob had his favorites (as all honest parents do). His favorite son, for he had twelve, was Joseph (Think Huck Finn, but with a really good singing voice). As a sign of his favor for Joseph, Jacob attends homemaking class and designs a bright rainbow-colored coat. It’s multi-colored, it’s psychedelic, and it looks like the parachute you bounced balls with in elementary school. Joseph’s multi-colored chute, however fun for him, angers his eleven brothers who encapsulate what happens when “Lost Boys” grow up. Their reaction and jealousy to Brother Joe provides the catalyst for our story, and some excellent songs as well.

The plan Joseph’s lost brothers devises consists of them throwing him into a pit, selling him into slavery to the Pirates of the Old Testament, and killing a passing cloud. Then to cover their evil deed, they hire Zack Morris to sing a western song to their father, while several cactuses in surgical scrubs back him up (Does a cactus doctor ask for a scalpel, or just use their arm? I wonder…).

Meanwhile Joseph is taken to the Starship Enterprise. I mean Egypt (but their triangular uniforms throw me off). And in Egpyt, there is an episode of Desperate Egyptian Housewives being filmed, starring the “worldly” wife of an Egpytian Millionaire, Potiphar (Think Donald Trump, but with better hair. Same type of wife though). After unsuccessfully trying to seduce poor Joe, Potiphar’s wife makes a false accusation that lands poor Joe in prison (He should have called Johnny Cochran). Strangely enough, prison is filled with children (stupid child labor laws). In these surroundings Joseph doesn’t lose hope, but instead sings about his people being promised a “land of their own,” (obviously a promise not made by a Palestinian). While in prison, Joseph meets some interesting men – Don Quixote and Jean Valjean (oops, wrong story again). In truth, he meets a Butler and Baker (where’s the candlestick maker?) The butler is a cross between William Shakespeare and Willy Wonka, who tells Joseph about his dream, which is interpreted to mean the Pharaoh will soon release him from prison and rehire him into service. The baker, in contrast, has his dream horribly deciphered to mean he will soon be executed (The lesson here kids: don’t wear a beret, nobody likes the French). After the dream interpretations are proven to be correct, the stage is set (or lit) for Joseph to rise from his prison and into the service of The King (also known as Pharaoh). Such a rise is illustrated by a very psychedelic song of “Go, go Joe,” with yellow hair, afros, and things that imply the baker may have been guilty after all, of putting something else in his bread.

After a short intermission, we return to the golden land of Egypt, where a sock-hop is underway. The poodle skirts and white shirts are accented by magical moon staffs, when Joseph is called before Pharaoh Ramses Presley. The Pharaoh, it seems, had some strange dreams of his own (no more eating tainted Peanut Butter before bedtime). Combining the spirit of Elvis with the hair of Alice on “The Brady Bunch” the Pharaoh tells Joseph of his prophetic dreams, which for Joseph signify the next 14 years of crop production in Egpyt (For your own dream interpretations, call 1-900-GO-GO-JOE). As a result of these correct dream interpretations Joseph is made the first Secretary of Agriculture and given a coveted “white hard hat” to symbolize his office. The poodle-skirts invent the concept of “groupies” as they sing to Joseph’s praise.

While the diva-tastic narrators explain the story could end here, we return to Agrabah, I mean Canaan, to see what has become of the Brothers Joseph. They, it seems, haven’t learned the lesson of the Baker, and choose to wear berets. This brings down famine, hunger, and a melancholy song upon them. They reminisce over their former parties, banquets, and piñatas (If only the piñata had looked like a cloud, they might have hit it). They resolve to solve their dietary problems by building a barricade and storming the Bastille (oh wait, that’s the other French story). What they do decide to do, is drag themselves and their youngest brother to Egpyt (I wonder if the youngest brother could pull the sword from the stone…).

And so, in an example of dramatic irony, the angry and jealous brothers of Joseph end up bowing before his feet asking for food (not recognizing him, which might seem weird, until you see Superman magically change into Clark Kent by only adding glasses). The Egpytian palm trees, which were obviously grown near Las Vegas, provide an excellent background for their reuniting with Joseph (who, judging by his new wardrobe, is now fighting G. I. Joe). Joseph begins the first welfare system by rationing food to his brothers, but secretly hiding a goblet in the youngest brother’s sack. As a test for his brothers, Joseph learns they are now honest men, as they sing of Benjamin’s innocence (and one wears the “birthday cake of innocence” on his head to prove it. The bravest brother must be the one stuck with the pink sombrero). Finally revealing himself to his brothers, his father comes to Egypt to reunite with his son (and make him a true Jedi). The show then ends with an elaborate “mega-mix” performed by the Blue Man group.

And so ends the journey of Joseph in the land of Canaan, Egypt, and Agrabah. Having come through sibling rivalry, seduction, a prison sentence, the psychic network, and mardi gras, Joseph is able at last to achieve his full potential, and stand on Pharaoh’s right hand (or right staff, as the case may be). In this capacity he is able to save his family, his nation, and God’s “chosen people.” All because of several choices he makes. Joseph chooses not to give in to Potiphar’s wife. Joseph chooses to trust a higher power while in prison. He chooses to help his family, even after they have betrayed and sold him. Joseph is after all, a dreamer. It may be that the dreamer believes in the virtue of people, in the triumph of good over evil, and in higher powers that can not be seen or proven. And it may be that those qualities are what make him a dreamer. However, his choices, like the clothing we wear, driving speed, and food we consume, have consequences. And the story of Joseph and his psychedelic parachute shows that often the choices that are hardest to make, or hardest to explain, are those that help us the most. And it is often the paths that we would not choose that lead to where we ultimately truly want to go. And even if that place isn’t full of poodle skirts, piñatas, and shiny metallic palm trees, it may still be, for us, the promised land.